A Gibbering (and nutrient lacking) Fool

 So my wife found a link to my old blog from my teenage years. I have no idea how much she read or how deep she delved into the archives. I do know we're still married, so that's a good sign.  Her review of my teenage writings sparked me to re-visit the site myself.  I got lost in nostalgia.   I laughed, I cringed (I cringed a LOT)  and I learned quite a few things about myself that I had seemingly forgot..

What I learned:

Young me was obsessed with Mountain Dew.  The amount of references to the "Sweet Nectar" as I too often referred to it are uncountable.  It's a miracle I didn't magically turn into a humming bird and fly away.

Young me would've starved to death if it wasn't for Spaghetti O's and a can opener.

Young me complained a lot.  (some things never change.)

Young me really disliked girls. To clarify, I don't think young me really disliked girls, in fact I think young me REALLY liked girls. Problem being girls disliked young me. And young me had a LOT of resentment because of it.

And  there's a lot more too, that which I don't really need to get into here.  Anyways, since this is kind of a fitness blog about my journey let's talk about what got young me to the 135 - 140 lb bean pole status VS what got me to the 182lbs slightly bigger than bean pole status when I was (am?) old me.

Young me typical day of eating:

9:30 am : Red bull (sugar free)

11:30 am : Grilled cheese with french fries

2:30 pm : small kids burger with fries

3:00 pm : Red bull or coffee (sugar free)

After my kid's burger I would work until around 9pm, occasionally munching on a snack here and there with nothing significant.

10:00 pm : If there was no spaghetti O cans left I would find a snack around the house, popcorn, chips.. etc.  Once or twice a week I would visit a taco bell and pound some soft tacos and mountain dew with the wrecking crew.  (Taco Tuesdays anyone??)

As you can see not the most caloric dense OR nutrient dense meal plan.  Now, lets compare to Old me style of eating, which helped me put on significant weight and muscle.

7:00 am - Coffee + Chocolate "Mass shake" (25g protein powder + 125g carb powder) ; Pear or Orange

10:00 am - 4 eggs (whole) 1 cup blueberries, 1 cup oatmeal (cooked),  1 hashbrown pattie or 1 small diced and cooked russet potato


12:30pm - 5 oz chicken breast with seasoning, 1 1/2 - 2 cups white rice w/1tbsp olive oil, 1 cup diced pineapple, 1 cup green beans or broccoli


3:30pm - Protein smoothie, 1 scoop whey, 1 cup frozen blueberries or other frozen fruit, 1/2 cup orange juice, 1/2 cup carb powder

6:00pm - GYM

8:00 pm -  4-5 oz ground turkey, 1/4 avacado, 1 whole wheat wrap,  1 cup white rice, diced tomatoes, green peppers, spinach, sliced cucumber.


10:00 pm - one scoop protein powder


Old me focuses a lot more on whole foods with nutrients, a lot more overall calories and a lot more protein. I lack a bit of consistency but for the most part this is my current meal plan 4-5 days a week. Weekends are my biggest failure as the routine seemingly flies out the window if I'm not on my work schedule.  A step to nail down failing forward.  The BEST gains ever made was when I was tracking calories daily and paying attention to the macro nutrient ratios of my meals and total caloric intake. That takes time and effort, which I've been lacking as of late.  I've been playing a lot of it by feel.  Watching the scale and eating more if it's not moving up or less if I feel I'm gaining too quickly.  I'm hoping to have the discipline to start tracking over all calories and nutrients again but for now we'll fail forward some more.

Step 1 Fail. Step 2 Move Forward

Hello?  Hello? ...Is this thing on?  Has it really been FOUR years? Where have I been?  What have I been doing?  I'd like to tell you I've been hitting the gym harder than I've ever had, that my diet has been spot on, that I've reached my goals and achieved my dreams.  I'd like to tell you I've made what they call in the industry "mad gainz"; That my squat, bench and deadlift have all gone up hundreds of pounds.   I'd like to tell you I'm in the best shape of my life. That I'm bigger, stronger, faster.  I'd like to tell you that my chicken legs are now tree trunks.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I can tell you what I have done.  I've Failed. 

I've recently been reading a book called Failing Forward by John Maxwell. Now, I'm not generally one for the "self help" genre but someone much more knowledgeable than I had it on their top 3 books of all time list. This particular person specializes in psychiatry and philosophy. That being said, I figured I should probably give it a read.  Let me just say WHAT A GREAT BOOK.  I already find myself thinking about proper steps to take and ways to improve on how I've failed.   My fitness goals being one of them.  

Which leads us back here.  Back to the blog.   Why not?  I feel like keeping myself accountable updating the blog with fresh content will motivate me to press on.  I've grown complacent and its time to reignite the fire. Some history for those who didn't know me back then; Many moons ago I weighed a whopping 145 lbs.   At around  6'1 this is also known as what we call "bean pole status".  I took an interest into graduating out of bean pole status.  I wanted to be able to wear shorts with out a comment about my legs.  I wanted people to stop referring to me as "the tall skinny kid".  So I started lifting.  I had no idea what I was doing.  Slowly I started to learn.  I started taking an interest in nutrition.  I started focusing more on how to improve my lifts and how to eat to achieve my goals.  I trained and ate and studied. I saw results.  They were satisfying.  Comments from friends and family were motivating.  I put on some muscle, some fat, I got a little bigger.  Not Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson big.  But bigger than beanpole status I'd say.  Not shredded. I added some pounds and I added some muscle. I did what I sought to do.   

But then I failed.  I got lazy, I lost some of the hard earned muscle I had put on.  I stopped prepping my food and counting my calories. I went to the gym only when I wanted and when it fit my schedule. I stayed home when I felt like it.  The past few years I've read more articles, studies, and books on nutrition and fitness than I can count.   My failure isn't in the knowledge my failure is in the execution.    Which brings me back to blogging.  A weekly update to keep me accountable to my execution.  I'm sure along the road there will be plenty more failures, but as John Maxwell writes:

"To achieve your dreams, you must embrace adversity and make failure a regular part of your life.

 If you're not failing, you're probably not really moving forward"

So, its time to move forward... Again.   Who's with me?